How Catholicism Influences Friendships

By: Emma Novak

Sirach 6:14: "Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure.” I agree with this statement and believe that both Catholicism and friendships tie together in so many ways, but most people might not realize how connected the two are. I know many teenagers experience hardships and struggles with friends, but the ones who are able to get over the difficult times are those who have faith. Being able to have God as a constant companion is such a blessing. Every day of every moment and every second of our lives God is there.

Unhealthy friendships are so common these days. I know that I have been in some friendships that haven’t been very good. Sometimes, you just have no choice. Growing up, in my elementary years, I had a really bad friend group. They were constantly being mean to not only me, but to many other kids as well: from making fun of them to spreading rumors. These friendships did not bring me joy. It even got to the extent where I was coming home each day running to my parents and crying in their arms. My parents would send me to school with little hand held crosses, miraculous medals, and a scapular to remind me that God would always be with me in times of distress. During those moments, though, nothing seemed to help. The girls were still being mean and there was nothing I could do about it. I just kept telling myself: “Stay Strong and You got this.” After several years of the drama and therapy sessions with my mom, it was time to start middle school. I had mixed feelings. I didn’t know whether or not middle school would be better or worse than elementary school. I stayed with the same friend group for the first couple of months and then I tried to meet some new friends, which took courage. I didn’t know if the new friends were going to be worse, but I tried. I also started to pray for good friends and kept God close to me. I knew He was with me, even when I felt alone. After some time, I found a group of girls that are now my friends - and I have been having the time of my life the past two years because of them. Having friends that I can lean on and trust has really helped me. It is not easy to find kind friends. Through those years I have learned how blessed I am to finally find friends that can treat me with love. Keeping God close to me in these difficult times helped me know that He had a plan all along and it ended up working out for the better.

If you have faith in the center of your life and friendships that revolve around faith, there is nothing you need to worry about. I think the thing I was missing with my toxic friend groups was faith. I grew up in a very healthy environment as a kid. My family was kind to me, we would go to Mass each week, watch religious shows, and listen to Christian music. But, in those difficult times of my life I didn't have the faith I needed. Yes, I was living a much better life than others at the time, but I would keep telling myself: “I can grow closer to God when I get older.” It was true. I did grow closer to God. But it wasn’t until middle school when my faith grew stronger and that is when my friendships grew stronger, too. I regret that time when I was younger and I thought I could wait to grow closer to God. So, from this day on I remind myself

that God should always be in the center of my life. And if any friendship troubles arise, I know exactly how to respond: with prayer. I know there is no perfect friendship, aside from with God. Every friendship will have its ups and downs - but as long as I keep God in my friendships, I will never go back to the stress I had in those past years. In John 15:15, Jesus says “I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.”

Now, I realize that I am making this all sound pretty easy like: “Oh, just put God into your life and everything will be perfect!” When really it can be extremely difficult. For the longest time I would go to church each weekend and would attend Monday night Catechism classes. I was always the first to answer all of the questions and I told myself that I was in a good place with my faith. But just recently, I started thinking that instead of comparing my faith to my peers around me I need to compare my faith to Jesus. When I did this, I realized that I did not pray as much, or sacrifice as much, or even fast as much as Jesus! After I changed my perspective, I started by taking baby steps. I would start each morning on my knees and say the Padre Pio prayer, “Do Not Worry,” then I slowly started adding an extra prayer each day. To the

point where now I am praying a rosary each day. What felt impossible just months ago has become a habit in my daily routine. Queen Elizabeth II could not have said it better: “The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision."

Friendships can be a big part of a teenager’s life and having faith during times of struggle is really the only answer. As I conclude, I would like to leave you with this Bible passage from James 4:8: "Come close to God, and God will come close to you."